Miscarriage

No, I did not have a miscarriage before I wrote this. As of July 10th at least, I am still pregnant. I just think this should be said and I know that if I did have a miscarriage, I wouldn't want to type it up then. 

As I've talked about before, we decided to share our news with loved ones right away. They're the ones I want with me through the good times and the hard times and I would need them there if I did have a miscarriage. I know through experience that telling someone you had a miscarriage when they didn't know you were pregnant is way harder than telling them you're no longer pregnant. It's harder for me to have to explain and answer more questions, and it's harder for them to sympathize when they weren't on the journey with you. 

Plus, keeping from getting excited now, doesn't take away from the pain of a miscarriage. 

So I'm telling loved ones, the ones I want and need supporting me right now, now. But I will wait a while to tell the world. 

Because the hardest thing after a miscarriage are people telling you "have you tried acupuncture?" Or "you're too stressed" or "At least you know you can get pregnant. 

The last thing a person needs to hear right after a miscarriage is advice for not having a miscarriage, the reasons why you're the reason the baby died, or an attempt at a silver lining like the terrible pain we're suffering isn't valid because at least...

The right response?

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Sending love

Sending prayers

I'm bringing over some moose track ice cream. 

I've gone through the same thing and it's hard. 

The wrong response?

Have you tried...

Well at least...

I totally understand, this same thing happened to my friends cat...

I know our immediate response in these situations it to try to make the person feel better. Just let them grieve and let them know you're there for them and with them. Send love.